I’ll never forget the day my son almost drowned. It was exactly 1 year ago from today. We had been at a private swimming pool, there were 4 adults there that day along with my 4 children. Somehow when there are more adults around, I feel more comfortable, but really I think everyone assumes someone else is watching.
(This photo taken 7/7/2010 at his first swim lesson for this year, he did amazing, much better than I did actually, I was on the edge of my seat the entire lesson.)
We were getting ready to leave the pool that day and everyone was getting out. My son was playing on the steps and I was changing the baby’s clothes and not paying attention. The next thing I realized my daughter was yelling “MOM! MOM!” she was also yelling her brother’s name. When I looked up, she had her floaty in one arm and our son in the other and was swimming as fast as she could back to the edge.
Thankfully my mom was quick to yank him out but he was already blue and non-responsive. My heart dropped as I saw his little lifeless body lay there on the concrete. I froze, just couldn’t believe my eyes. Thankfully my mom was quick to turn him to his side and pat his back, he immediately started throwing up, which lasted for what seemed an eternity. He had soiled himself and had petechia all around his eyes, face and throat, but he was breathing, my sweet baby was breathing.
Unfortunately the teenage lifeguards on duty were of no help what-so-ever and advised us to take him home to rest. On the way home, he started crying his stomach hurt so we decided to go to the ER. Praise God for that decision because when we got there his lungs had water in them, they scolded me for not calling 911 and rushed him into for oxygen. If we’d have gone home that day he would have surely died in his sleep.
Later after talking with our son, he said he had slipped off the bottom step and couldn’t reach, in an attempt to get back to the steps he had actually floated out towards the middle of the pool. He said he put his hands up in the air hoping someone would see him, and praise God, our daughter did. She said she saw his hair floating, but he wasn’t moving, so she grabbed him. Our 6 year old daughter saved our son’s life.
So why am I writing this horrific post? Two reasons:
FIRST: Be AWARE! Drowning doesn’t always look like drowning!
No matter what the amount of water your children are playing in, keep a close eye on them. I now stay in the water at all times with them. We stay together and get out together. And I don’t rely on lifeguards to watch my children, the lifeguard that day didn’t even notice my son drowning, and my mom had revived him before the lifeguard even got over to us, even though we were yelling at him like crazy. Finally, be informed! The lifeguard that day told us to go home. If this happens to your child NEVER go home! According to our pediatrician if there is ever a restriction of the airway of any kind i.e., choking, drowning ALWAYS GO TO THE ER IMMEDIATELY. And if it is a near drowning like my son’s it is best to call 911 rather than drive them yourself.
SECOND: The second reason for this post is to admit my own feelings of guilt. I’ve never fully forgiven myself for this incident. I can go on and on about what I could have done, but that’s not really relying on God, that’s me trying to carry my own burden. I’m still not sure how to let go of this except through continued prayer, so that’s where you’ll find me today, giving prayer and thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father for looking after his children.
Timely as God is, I received this devotion from Alpha Omega Homeschooling:
I’ll never forget the day my son almost drowned….read more.
If you’ve had a tragedy in your home and struggle with forgiving yourself, God knows your pain. Being a homeschooling parent doesn’t mean you can protect your child from every physical bump and bruise. Accidents happen, and many times there aren’t any good reasons or answers to explain them. Only God knows what each day will bring, but praise the Lord that even when bad things happen, He is still able to turn them around for good. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Lord, I can’t see the good in this situation right now, and I feel like it’s all my fault. Please, help me to forgive myself and trust that somehow, You will make sense of this problem. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ALWAYS keep an eye on your children when they are swimming, drowning can happen in an instant.
Now, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, take your kids to the pool and have a safe and fun summer.
Your post took me right back to the night of June 6th that we almost lost our two years old son. I blogged about it the night after so that I will always remember to keep an eye on him no mater how many other people around him are also doing the same thing. It was horrible. I remember my brain just froze and my heart skipped a bit when I didn't see him in the house. We have gone back to the same house last week and this time, we had him in our sight the whole evening.Thank you again for sharing your nightmare and I know God's grace is sufficient! Praise Him for your little boy!
Thanks for being so open and honest, Erica. I've struggled with guilt, too, for accidents that happened to my kids, and I've discovered that "sharing" and bringing the guilt into "light" is always my first step towards healing.Bless you! (((hugs)))
Thank you for sharing this important reminder with us. The young lifeguards here are not very attentive at all! Not at the local YMCA or the beach, it's sad. Some of the ones at the beach have been called out because of phone usage while on duty.
Thank you for sharing this story. I can only imagine how heart wrenching it was/is. My rule is "If everyone is watching, no one is watching." I encourage everyone to make someone specifically responsible for each child. It's just too easy for us all to think someone will watch out for them. The other things is that no matter how close we are or how carefully we watch things do happen. My then-toddler son crashed into a chair in our living room and had to get stitches even though I was just an arm's length away. Sometimes there is nothing we can do. God bless
Oh Erica…this is a much needed reminder. Thank you. We all can get so complacent and need to remain vigilant about those things we can control but accidents can and will happen. I am so sorry you are struggling with such guilt. I pray that will subside over time. This post reminds me of this that I saw on Mommy Life blog a while back:http://mommylife.net/archives/2010/06/children_and_po.htmlIt was very enlightening to me. Love you!Ginger
I have tears running down my cheeks because I could have written a nearly identical post. Including: a year ago, lifeguards who did not notice, lifeguards who did not hear the cries for help, lifeguards who then looked at me like "uhh, what do we do?" I pulled my floating 2.5 year old boy out of the pool last year and have been terrified of water (and my children touching it) ever since. It has been a process to allow myself to trust swimming instructors as they work with my sons. I think I have actually mostly repressed the actual incident because it is just so painful to think about. I must say that many have reminded me that there ARE GOOD, observant lifeguards out there. I MYSELF have to remind myself of that.I also have to work VERY hard not to let my children see my own fear because with proper training water is wonderful. I had just forgotten that the parts of water to have a healthy fear about is NOT known naturally and must be taught.My oldest son has had a few beginner sessions and this winter I hope to get both the boys into lessons with a friend so that by next summer we might be able to go back to the pool without near heart attack symptoms in mom. Praise God for all the *good news* stories. The reminder for God to carry the burden is a great one. 🙂
I have tears in my eyes and I know I am going to think about this all day…thank God it ended with your son safe and healthy!
What a great reminder, thank you! I'm just starting out hsing but I read your blog all the time. Love it! Thanks for all the helpful ideas 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story. I too had a church member save my son while he was drowing in the pool. Long story short I saw my husband taking things to the car and told my son to go with daddy. I was trying to finish up a conversation. Well my husband told my son to go back to mommy which he never did. He saw other kids jump in the pool and he followed. Thankfully it was not his time to go and God sent an angel to rescue him. I am grateful that your son is okay and that you took him to the ER. Its good to hear stories from other moms it reminds me that we are all human and we all make mistakes. It does not mean we love our children any less. I hope sharing your story has lifted a weight off your chest.
I posted your post in my Facebook as this is a great reminder as parents how viligant we need to be when it comes to our kids. I had a incident when my boy was no more than 4. It was at the public pool and he wanted to watch the swimmers go down the slide. I was watching him and somehow he stepped off and fell into the water. I was there really quick because I was watching him but I can't even imagine if I had been somewhere else or not paying attention. And the sad thing is the 'lifeguards' were to busy gossiping with their friends. I defintly had him do swim lessons the next year or so as a precaution to. Thanks again for this reminder.Melhttp://heismybeloved.com